BEWARE OF PIGEONS Today, as I walked to Grand Central from work, I saw a man get hit in the head by a pigeon. The pigeon didn't mean to fly into him. The man was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Imagine being a small pigeon, just trying to get a decent meal off the street at rush hour with all these huge people walking around. They always have to have their little heads turned up at a weird angle so they can keep one eye on the ground and one eye looking out for legs. If they have nowhere to move out of the way in a hurry, they just have to fly up—and possibly into someone's head. I really did try not to laugh.
FRIDAY!! It's Friday, and the weather is glorious, and I don't have to work, and it's the start of a long weekend! I should say "longer" because all my weekends are long since I always have Fridays off. I don't mean to gloat but I will. I actually prefer my regular long (non-holiday) weekends when everyone else is working except for me. I can't gloat when everyone else is off too.
NO PATIENCE My husband got a bit frustrated with his computer equipment last night and carried his printer out to the curb. I think he actually smashed it against the curb a few times before placing it by the recycling trash. I didn't watch, I only heard the commotion. This morning after he left for work I put it in a garbage can, knowing that it's not recyclable. There were several pieces of plastic scattered about—and some screws from hubby's brain.
SMOKE DETECTORS I'd like to meet the person who designed the smoke detector. I have something I'd like to scream in his ear—CHIRP!!! Why, why, why the chirp??? Why can't they have a flashing light go on when the battery is low? Or maybe it could play music? Anything would be better than that annoying CHIRP! I had to run out to the hardware store just to buy a new 9 volt battery. Now they sell 9V 1's and 9V 2's. Does anyone know what the difference is?? I got a 9V1 and just prayed that it would stop the chirp. It did. I had visions of myself tearing the whole smoke detector out of the ceiling and smashing it against the curb. Gee, that reminds me of something else. . .
A SPECIAL EVENT Today I was my niece's sponsor at her Confirmation. For any of you who are not Catholic, it's too much to explain so you you might just want to skip over this part. Back when I made my Confirmation, we got to choose the name of a favorite saint for our Confirmation name. Apparently now they're told to just go with their own middle name unless they don't have a middle name. In that case they get to pick one. I don't know what the reasoning could possibly be for this change but it certainly takes all the fun out of it. Anyway, the day went quite well. As her sponsors, I had to walk her up to the the Bishop and introduce her to him so he could bless her with holy oil. I didn't forget her name or trip up the aisle so I think that went rather well. I did use a self tanner the night before and could smell it throughout the whole ceremony. Thankfully I don't think the Bishop could smell me.
SOMETIMES. . . Sometimes someone calls at just the right time to lift you out of the worst mood.
Why? Why is it that no matter how neatly you think you've packed away your ipod, the next time you pull it out the wires are completely tangled? And does anyone know if it really makes a difference if you put the earphone labeled "R" in your left ear and the one labeled "L" in your right? Am I the only one who actually checks? Does the music sound different if they're in the wrong ear?
SHOPPING Has anyone been shopping for blades lately? I went to Duane Reede and there are so many different kinds of blades that I actually left the store empty handed. There are blades especially for men and pink ones that are especially for women, there are disposable blades and replaceable blades and blades with moisturizer in them and blades that rotate. There are generic blades and brand name blades. Some are behind the counter so you have to ask for them and some are in the aisle with the shaving cream. Today I went to CVS and they have a new automated set up just for blades. You have to press a button and then lift a cover to take the package out. Why? There are certainly other products in the store that are more expensive. Why are blades so special? Well, I finally found the ones I needed. Gillette for women. I don't think men can use them.
Tick Bite I got a tick bite on my leg (on the left calf) over a year and a half ago. I got the tick out right away so there was no problem. The strange thing is, the little red mark is STILL there! For months, every once in a while it would get itchy and then finally after about a year it stopped. Tonight I got an itch in the same spot again! The mark is much less visible but it's still there! I wonder if this is a common occurrence or am I just special?
ARMOR NEEDED for shopping on the first floor of Bloomingdales. Have you walked through the makeup and perfume departments lately? You cannot walk three feet without being accosted by someone pushing a new brand of perfume, cologne, moisturizer, or wrinkle cream. I was walking through the store with my Mom yesterday and I honestly thought I'd lost her at one point, picturing her being devoured by a mob of aggressive perfume sellers. As we neared the far end of the store we tried to find a quiet spot to consult each other on where we should eat lunch, when 2 more sales people appeared out of thin air shouting loudly and waving their products in our faces. In our weakened state, we decided to leave this mob scene and eat at a restaurant across the street. Some words of advice for those of you who will be passing through the first floor at any time soon—do not make eye contact, keep your head high, look as if you know exactly where you're headed, and wear earplugs. Never let yourself get distracted, even for a second. Of course if you do actually have several hundred dollars to splurge on perfume, then by all means, enjoy yourself.
